Jiraiya's Lucky Day
by Raven-2010
Summary: What happens when Jiraiya, amd Naruto stop at a village. Jiraiya meets a pervy female version of himself, & she likes him? Naruto, and Jiraiya have a practical joke war, Kakashi helps Naruto torment Jiraiya, comedy romance mild lemon, Jiraiya/Shiori


**Dislaimer I don't own Naruto Viz Media does, Rated R comedy, romance, mild Lemon**

Dedicated to Naruto fans, updated, extended Sep 1 2011. I re did it because itreally sucked, Jiraiya, Naruto, and Kakashi, pairing, Jiraiya/Shiori

**Jiraiya's Lucky Day**

**By Raven 2020 Nov 23 2010**

**Peeping stalker, playful snipe fest, sexy jutso, Jiraiya meets his pervy match**

During their travels Jiraiya and Naruto only stopped to sleep and eat whatever they caught fish rabbit etc, wild vegetables. and bathe Jiraiya didn't know he was being followed and watched by a mysterious stranger

When Naruto was not there unbeknownst to Jiraiya a beautiful and pervy as him female was watching him when he was alone, and very much liked what she saw. She had been following him for days while lecherous thoughts ran through her mind and little did he know he'd soon be meeting her

"Hm that white hair, what a body. Oh what I could do to you" she thought, while hiding behind some bushes "Come on sexy turn around" Jiraiya did "Gulp, holy shit he, he's got enough for two. That ought to be illegal"

18 year old Naruto, and Jiraiya had a long journey and traveled great distances without taking many rest stops. They passed by a large village and decided to stop, rest, and have some food Naruto had his usual ramen

"Jeez kid your going to turn into ramen the way you eat that stuff" Jiraiya teased

"Slurp, hah the way you run us all over with barely any rest it's a freaking miracle I haven't starved to death, and dropped dead" Naruto wisecracked

"Don't be such a drama queen"

"Right after you stop being a pervy letch. Pervy sage"

"_**Narutooooo" **_Jiraiya bit "How many times have I told you not to call me that? It's Jiraiya, my name is Ji-rai-ya"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Na-ru-to does not give a rats ass, pervy sage sensei" Naruto taunted "Man I just love getting under his skin, hehehe" he thought

"Your not a nine tail fox you're a nine tailed rotten, annoying little blond haired weasel" Jiraiya shot back "Who one day I am going to kill"

Jiraiya ate fast, and Naruto watched as he looked at women then went into letch mode "Pervy sage is at it again" Naruto thought "Hey pervy sage are you pervy in your dreams to? Are you pervy all over? Hehehe" Naruto wise cracked

"Kid keep it up and I'll cage you wearing nothing but a pink diaper, and sucking on a pacifier. Then put you on display and charge people a fee to come look at you, plus you won't get any ramen and you'll have to watch while I eat it" Jiraiya replied

"Child abuse, child abuse creepy old goat" Naruto teased "I swear when your dead if they put your corpse near any female corpses you'll still be on the make"

"Persecute a guy because he loves women joy killer" Jiraiya replied "Maybe we should get you a girlfriend. Thatll cure you"

"Yeah and maybe we need to get you married, and have 9 kids"

"I am allergic to marriage" Jiraiya shot back "I have a doctors letter saying so"

"Here comes the bride all dressed in white she's marrying scared pervy sage oh what a sight"

"Nafruito wanna die? Keep it up and you will"

"Yeah as if, the minute you saw a woman you'd stop chasing me, and start chasing her"

"Oh really" lets test that theory shall we? Jiraiya said and started to chase him

Totally caught off guard Jiraiya all but had a heart attack, and dropped dead when in mid chase Naruto used his notorious sexy jutso turning into a sexy naked woman. Jiraiya's eyes went wide as saucers, and he immediately stopped dead in his tracks, and gasped in horror, then began protesting

"_**Narutooo**_, you little sicko" how many times have I told you to stop doing that to me?

"See told ya you'd stop the minute you saw a woman, hehehe"

Just when Jiraiya was about to strangle him, he stopped, and at the same time Jiraiya, and Naruto both spotted a woman. She had long thick wavy black hair down to her thighs, her body had a bit of a thick build. just what Jiraiya always loved on a woman meat on her bones, something to hold on to he always said

"Pervy sage I see you checking her out" Do you need to go pick out an engagement ring? I'll help you pick one" so tell me when's the wedding? Naruto teased

"What I like a girl with meat on her bones. And don't be trying to marry me off brat"

"I'm not talking about the meat on the bones she looks great, your pervyness is what I'm talking about" ooo is pervy sage in love? Or in heat? Hm he needs a nurse" Naruto wise cracked

"No but your going to need a body cast if you keep it up" Jiraiya replied "Want me to give you a demonstration?

"Sniff, sniff I feel the love" Naruto said feigning tears "Aw I think pervy sagey wagey wuvs me to pieces, yes he does" Naruto ragged

"No but your going to feel the pain if you keep it up"

"Yes daddy I'll be good., don't spank me" Naruto ragged

"I'm going to kill that kid" Jiraiya thought "Start making funeral plans brat" he said

"I will if your paying for it" Narutu joked "And I want the best none of that cheap crap. Naruto Uzumaki rates only the best"

"No first you'll dig your own grave, then I'll bury you in it after I kill you"

"Cheap bastard" Naruto replied

**Shiori, partners in crime, yanking the sages chain**

When the mystery woman finally turned around to face them Jiraiya's eyes went wide as saucers and bugged out, his jaw dropped, and they saw she had a face like a saint. Her black wavy hair had bangs in the front chocolate brown eyes, and a light tan to her skin , she wore a rose red kimono, and pervy sage just loved red, Jiraiya went over to her to ask her, her name but she didn't answer

"Go ahead you horn dog go talk to her, the poor girl if she only knew" Naruto teased "But be nice or I'll kick your ass"

"No you won't, but I will let kiss it" Jiraiya retorted

"I love these two already" Shiori thought "I am going to enjoy screwing with Jiraiya, hehehe"

"Well if you bend back far enough you can kiss it yourself. But make sure you use chap stick first wouldn't want to chafe your little butt" now would you? Naruto needled

"Hi my name is Jiraiya" what is yours? Beautiful" she spoke Japanese but to yank his chain answered in another language "Oooh I've lost her already" how can I get to know her when she doesn't speak Japanese? Now what am I going to do? Jiraiya said

"Relax pervy sage she's speaking English I can help you"

"Naruto you speak English? Since when?

"Yeah I took it up as a second language in school"

"Naruto ask her, her name" Jiriaya said, Naruto did

"Hey I can speak Japanese" but please help me torture him? Shiori asked Naruto in English

"You got it, I just love screwing with him" Naruto said, he loved her already now he had a new wise ass buddy "Man this is my favorite sport"

"Thanks" she replied

"I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship" he exclaimed

"This kid is going to be an excellent partner in crime" Shiori thought

She says her name is Shiori Asano, she's from America her father is Japanese and died before she was born, her mother is Japanese American. She doesn't speak Japanese because her father was the only member of his family in the U.S, after her mother's recent death she has come here to be with her father's family, and that they just started teaching her to speak our Language" Naruto said

What poor Jiraiya did not know is that both Shiori, and Naruto were going to be yanking his chain big time, and were going to every chance they got. They were going to pull one of the rottenest tricks going on him

"Please ask her I must know her age? Jiraiya said, Naruto did

"Your going to be my new and best friend forever" Naruto told her with a grin

"I'm 35, but tell him that I am 17" Shiori said

"Shiori I think I love you already, hehehe" Naruto teased "I love nothing more then to yank his chain"

"Aw thanks cutie" she said, then put one hand on the top of his head and mussed his hair, Naruto giggled

"Hey pervy sage she's 17 years old" Naruto could barely keep a straight face

Jiraiya's face dropped, he landed on his butt, and a look of shear agony crossed his handsome face. Jiraiya put his head in his hands "Oh no, no, no it can't be say it isn't so"

"This is to much fun, poor thing" Shiori said

"I know right" Naruto replied

"Why me? I finally meet the girl of my dreams and she's under age, mother nature you bitch I hate you" Jiraiya said

"Wow I've never seen him get worked up like that over any woman before. He really likes you a lot" Naruto commented "Hey play along" he whispered, then Shiori, and Naruto broke out into peals of laughter

"Do it" she coaxed

"Naruto what the hell's so funny? Jiraiya asked

"Well I'm 18 she's 17 we can date, I am so lucky she's hot, hell I might even let her take advantage of me if she wants to, hehehe" Naruto needled to bug Jiraiya

"_**Whaaat? **_Jiraiya said "You little soon to be dead rat" how could you?

"Awww there'll be others, and don't worry I will take good care of her, you have my word as a ninja"

"Nice kick a guy while he's down" Jiraiya said "You're the devil, you are"

"Who me? I'd never do such a thing" Naruto joked then put his arm around Shiori's shoulders "I'm just a helpless, sweet, little fun loving fox"

"Rub it in already" why don't you? Jiraiya remarked

"Relax and chill pervy sage there'll be other girls" Naruto was having a hard time keeping a straight face "Hey do you have a condom? I don't have one with me"

"Who cares I wanted her and she's to young oh I need sake" Naruto please tell her that I'm sorry I thought she was older?

Naruto laughed "Awww poor baby"

"And wait a minute, did I just hear you ask me for a condom?" Jiraiya said and at the same time his eyes widened

"Yeah you know what a condom is" don't you? Cause I've got a feeling today's going to be my lucky day" Naruto ragged, then he and Shiori nearly doubled over laughing

"What the hell are you laughing at? You thieving fink" Jiraiya bit out

"Pe, pervy sage if you could only see your face right now i, i, it's hilarious" Naruto choked out between laughs

"Naruto I'll show you hilarious wait till I get you, you miserable little weasel. I am going to skin you then make a rug out of you" Jiraiya promised

"Pervy sage take it easy it was a joke, she wanted to play a joke on you and asked me to help her do it so I did" who am I to refuse a beautiful woman? She is really 35 not 17"

"So she likes pranks does she? This is going to be fun" Jiraiya said

"Shiori is not married, or with any guy right now, I told her your age and name that you

like her and that you are single. Shiori says she likes you to and thinks your hot oh lecherous one" Naruto answered, then made kissing sounds

"Shiori approached Jiraiya looked him over "Strong muscles, and oh what I can do with that nice tight body, and you look so tasty" she whispered in his ear in perfect Japanese

"Y, You can speak Japanese? _**Narutooo**_" Jiraiya said,

She smirked and gave him a nice gentle smack on the ass "Nice, and so firm" can I give it a bite? she said

"Shit she's the female version of me" Jiraiya thought

"What? Did I forget to tell you that? Oh come on pervy sage where's your sense of humor? Naruto responded "Live a little you wet blanket"

"Kid I'll show you sense of humor just wait for it" Jiraiya said plotting revenge at the same time

"Wait for what?

"Never mind Ruto it's a surprise, and if I told you what it was there'd be no surprise" now would there? Jiriaya taunted

"Oh fine, get bent you old geezer" Naruto retorted "Damn he called me Ruto, he never did that before that cannot be good"

Shiori Stood in front of Jiraiya with her back to Naruto, and gently took Jiraiya's hand in hers he was happy, Jiriaya held her in his arms. With her arms around his waist she reached down, and gave his butt a gentle squeeze, Jiraiya's eyes widened in shock and his face turned white, then she put her arms around him and started kissing him

"Whoa mama she's good" Jiraiya thought "And so good with her hands"

"Eeeeew get a room you two" Naruto joked "Oh I think I'm scarred for life"

Shiori she took his hair lose and ran her fingers through it "I have been dying to do this" Shiori stated

"Been dying to do this? Jiraiya asked, he sensed something and was suspicious

"Yes when Naruto wasn't around and you were bathing I watched you"

"Y, you were there? Jiraiya asked

"Ah, Hahaha, p, pervy sage she was watching you, like you always spy on women. Hehehe, finally o, one did it to you" Naruto choked while laughing "Oh how I've waited for this day"

Shiori continued to run her fingers through his hair, then kissed him passionately, Jiraiya opened his mouth then she plunged her tongue in. Although surprised by her aggression he swiftly granted her entrance while he held her, she ran her hands up and down his back and pulled him against her

"Want to go to the hot spring? He whispered in her ear

"Yes but only if you promise not to take advantage of me" she teased, then gave his butt another squeeze

"Really" and who is squeezing who's butt? He teased

"Hah she's the female version of pervy sage, looks like he has met his match. Oh man this is great while he's busy I can rest" Naruto thought with a big smile enjoying the whole scene

Jiraiya broke the kiss looked over at Naruto "Hey Naruto? we're going to the hot spring for a while" Jiraiya said

"Hey pervy sage don't be tooo pervy after all Shiori's a good girl, hehehe" Naruto teased

"Naruto?

"Yeees pervy sage?

"We gotta get you married to Hinata, your 18 so that makes you an old maid, hahaha" Jiariya taunted, then made kissing sounds

"Gulp" _**whaaaaat? **_No, no, no" are you nuts? No freaking way I'm allergic to marriage, I love girls but I'm never getting married" nervous Naruto replied loudly

"Aw now don't be that way Naru" Jiraiya teased

"Hmmm, so pervy sage when are you going to marry Shiori, and have some kids? Naruto retorted, she laughed "I could go check out a few engagement and wedding rings for you, hehehe" Naruto said and laughed

"Gulp, Narfruito kid your dead" said wise cracked

"I'm not fruit you old goat, I'm all man, if you were a girl I'd show you" Naruto answered "Pervy sage is getting married and soon over the threshold Shiori will be carried" Naruto tormented

"First I have to take the car for a test drive before anything else happens" Shiori commented

"Make sure the breaks work, after all it is an old car, desperately in need of a major overhaul" Naruto teased

"Yes but you young cars do everything tooo fast, and konk out, older cars have more miles and experience" Jiraiya wisecracked

"Make sure you wear a raincoat" Naruto teased meaning a condom "You can't swim without one"

"We need a giant one to put over your head" Jiraiya shot back

"Oh boy he is good and riled up, now I'm happy" Naruto thought

"Have fun, boy will you learn" Jiraiya said smiling evilly

"Pervy sage is dying from the neck down from old age. For him it's a tragedy I'll have to take care of Shiori" Naruto ragged

"Over your dead body" Jiraiya said

"Go for it pervy sage, have fun see you later, don't break anything vital old man if you know what I mean, hehehe" Naruto said

"No I wont but I'd guard something of yours closely if you know what I mean. It might oops get sliced off accidentally, accidents do happen when you least expect it" Jiraiya answered

"Murderer" Naruto replied

Jiraiya picked Shiori up, and carried her to the hot spring, once there he did not wait for her to undress. As revenge for the trick she had played on him he dropped her into the water fully clothed

**Jiraiya's lucky day, hot time in the hot spring**

**Mild Lemon starts**

Shiori reached up grasped onto the front of Jiraiya's shirt and pulled him into the water with her. She didn't speak but instead let her actions speak for her and pinned him against the wall, felt his body and started slowly started stripping him so Jiraiya did the same first exposing her shoulders and worked his way down, trailing kisses as he went

"Jiraiya I cant wait I want you here and now"

"Be gentle it's my first time, and I bruise easily" he joked

"Yeah right" she said "And I'm a virgin priestess"

"Your so beautiful you drive me crazy" he said and kissed her neck

"Jiraiya that feels so good" she said

She started kissing him and worked her way down to his neck it drove him crazy, he moaned and kissed her, then slipped his tongue into her mouth and let his hands roam over her body. She reached down took hold of and massaged his impressively sized manhood and felt it pulsate beneath her touch, then ground into him, Jiraiya cupped her full breasts in his hands feeling them and more, as his hands worked their way down to her ass when he got to it gave it a gentle squeeze

"UhhhShiori" he moaned "That feels good"

"Mmm Jiraiya don't stop"

Jiraiya held her up against with her back against the bank of the spring, she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He entered her the second he was fully sheathed within she released immediately, and they made love for hours calling out each others names while they reached heights of ecstasy never known before

**Mild lemon ends**

**Kakashi arrives, a heart stopping trick**

Naruto sat at the ramen stand, Kakashi was passing through saw him stopped, went over to then sat down next to Naruto "Hey Naruto what are you doing here? And where's Jiraiya?

Naruto was about to answer when he was interrupted by the cook who came over "Would you boys like to order? The cook asked

They both answered "Yes" some ramen please?

"Ok coming right up" And what about your white haired friend? the cook asked

"Nah he won't be back for a long while" smirking Naruto replied

"Jiraiya's busy hah? Kakashi said

"Kakashi sensei to answer your questions pervy sage and I were passing by here we decided to stop rest and eat. He's with a women we just met a real beauty, and pervy like him, hehehe"

"You mean Jiraiya met a woman who's as pervy as he is? Oh I have got to get a look at and meet her, I guess it's Jiraiya's lucky day" Kakashi said

"Yeah she looked him over and everything, and even smacked his butt like guys do to girls, hehehe"

"I'm liking her already" Kakashi said

Kakashi sensei I've never been anywhere with pervy sage when he's done this before, and you know him for years now" how long is he usually gone when he does?

"Kid he'll be gone for the better part of the day, he's got the stamina of an 18 year, once when Jiraiya and I were traveling together he met a woman I did not see him for two days. So we can hang out and relax for a while think of it as mini vacation"

"Awesome oh man I wish we could get him a girl in each town we stop at then I'd get more rest, hehehe" Naruto replied, he told Kakashi about the trick he and Shiori played on Jiraiya

"Man she's as twisted with the joke playing as you. Looks like you have a partner in crime"

"Yeah and you should have seen how worked up he got when he thought he could not have her. I never saw him do that before" Naruto explained

"Hah, he usually just moves on to another female"

"Yup he called her his dream girl" Naruto said "That was priceless"

"That's new, sounds to me she is more then just a one time thing to him"

"Kakashi sensei if I didn't know better I'd say he's met the one, if you know what I mean"

"Sounds like a strong possibility to me"

Hours later Jiraiya, and Shiori came back "Jiraiya you old horny dog I see you can still walk, the plumbing still works I presume. You know brittle pipes do have a tendency to break" is anything broken? Nothing fell off did it? Kakashi teased then laughed

"Go buy a skateboard, then go to the highway during rush hour and play in the traffic" Jiraiya said

"Such scorn sniff, sniff I was just looking out for your well being" Kakashi joked feigning tears

"It's alive, it's alive, and can still walk" hey pervy sage does everything still work? Was anything rusty? You haven't had any for so long you were a virgin again, must have hurt like hell losing your cherry' hah? Naruto teased

"Ooo I bagged myself a virgin" Shiori ragged

"Kid you are cruising for a bruising" Jiraiya responded "And a casket"

"Oh come on you know you wuv me, and besides I'm 18 it's not like I don't know anything you know" Naruto joked

"So tell me Jiraiya who is this beauty? Who I hear tamed you, you little beastie''

"Kakashi this is Shiori"

"So tell me how did you catch the poor girl? Kakshi taunted "Did you shoot her with a tranquilizer dart, and she woke up with you?

"Ahh shut up Kakshi" Jiraiya said, then gently smacked him upside his head "Shiori caught me, and ooo I do not want to escape"

"No seriously" what did you hypnotize her? Or was it brainwashing? Kakashi asked grinning "No you used a net"

"Seriously she caught me" Jiraiya answered "And I am not complaining"

"Tell me does it hurt when you walk? Kakashi taunted "Do we need to call an ambulance?

"Elderly virgin" Jiraiya wise cracked "Your gonna need the ambulance not me. You haven't had any in so long the lead pipe must be backed up, and rusted over inside"

"You leave my pipes alone their not bothering you" Kakashi retorted

Shiori spoke to Kakashi in a low voice she wanted to have some fun and it was a real heart stopper "Ohhh Jiraiya?

"What Kakshi?

"Ahhh Shiori says that she is pregnant, and you have to marry her now"

"_**Whaaaaaaaat? **_Jiraiya yelled

"Aw come on pervy sage don't have a basket of kittens" Naruto ragged "Besides it'll be a beautiful kid, and after having a baby you won't be so uptight"

"Oh come on Jiraiya after all it's only fair you took her precious flower" Kakashi said

"Wh, what you mean she was a vir, virgin? Nervous Jiraiya managed to get out "O, on the first time, gulp"

"Well you should be proud now you can say you were her first. And it is time you settled down" Kakashi ragged, then he and the others all broke out in gut wrenching laughter

"Kakashi, you and Naruto better sleep with one eye open" are you two rodents ready for early death? Jiraiya warned

"See Kakshi sensei that's why I love this girl already she's so much fun" Naruto said "She's my new bestest friend" he joked "And she loves torturing him as much as we do, hehehe"

"Kakashi your dead I am gonna turn you into a girl the hard way" Jiraiya said then chased him

"Jiraiya you just got your brains humped out you will never be able to keep up with or catch me" Kakashi taunted

"Lets test that theory" shall we rat lips?

While they were running "Hey you should keep Shiori if she can put up with an old goat like you she is a saint" Kakashi taunted

**Sweet revenge, a colorful surprise, a hot chase, ramen**

Jiraiya caught Kakashi put him in a headlock gave him noogies, then stopped and focused on his new target. Smiling evilly with a wicked glint in his eyes Jiraiya stared at Naruto like a lion sizing up a steak

"Pervy sage I don't like that look in your eyes what are you up to? Naruto nervously asked

"Who me? I'll have you know I have nothing but good intentions" Jiraiya answered

"Yeah sure, you stay away from me" Naruto said while backing away

"Now my little Naruto wooto you should trust your sensei you are like a son to me" Jiraiya said grinning

"Oh crap" Naruto replied "No way man"

Then before Naruto could blink he found himself over Juriaya's shoulder being carried off. Juriaya moved as fast as lightening, leaving only a streak behind, last thing Kakashi and Shiori heard was splash

Then Naruto screamed "Ahhh what the hell?

"See there I always keep my promises I did promise I'd get you, this is a special gift just for you Naruto enjoy" Jiraiya said smiling evilly

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? Indignant Naruto asked

"Time will tell kid, time will tell" Jiraiya teased "Be patient"

"Time will tell what you crazy old goat? Quit trying to mess with my head" said Naruto Jiraiya said nothing more and left

"Jiraiya I know that evil smile of yours" ok tell me what did you do? Kakashi asked

"Oh you'll see, it shouldn't be long now" Jiraiya said with his hands folded behind his head while he sat waiting

A minute later "What the hell is this shit? I'm am going kill you old man, your so dead you don't even know it yet. Start making funeral plans, because when I get you your going to die slowly" Naruto screamed

Kakashi ,Jiraiya, and Shiori all eagerly waited, Naruto came out and what they saw next was a shocker. There was poor Naruto bright neon orange from head to toe Jiraiya cracked up while Kakashi, and Shiori did a beautiful job of maintaining straight faces

"Jiraiya he's really pissed, and looks to be in kill mode, run" Kakashi warned

"Dried up old turd I'll kill you, because now your ass belongs to me your dead believe it" Naruto said then formed an energy ball in his hand

"Oh shit" Jiraiya said then turned and ran, Naruto chased and hit Jiraiya right in the ass with his energy ball

"There" how do you like that? You miserable old fart ball? Naruto said

"Yeooooow" Jiraiya screamed "Enough Naruto, I'm sorry it was only a joke" where's your sense of humor? Come on kid forgive an old man, I'll never do it again were friends"

"I'll show you forgiveness, and a sense of humor"

Just when Jiraiya started to pull ahead, Naruto seeing that waited Jaraiya turned to go past a huge old tree. Naruto thought how perfect it was when he saw one of it's large roots sticking up out of the ground, Just when Jiraiya neared it Naruto threw an energy ball at the tree root

"Ha, ha, ha kid you missed me your aims getting rusty" Jiraiya taunted

"Oh really you'd think that" wouldn't you? Naruto gloated, then at the same time the tree root caught Jiraiya's root tripping him face down in a mud puddle

Jiraiya lifted his head up "Narutooo"

"Hehehe" how do you like me now you old crone? Naruto wisecracked,

"Let me show you, you rat faced little creep" Jiraiya said, and was about to attack, when Naruto threw another energy ball

"No way" Naruto said "And it's fox not rat, woman"

Jiraiya started running again "Remember I said you were like a son to me? Jiraiya tried conning

"Forget it orange, you dyed me orange that's going to far you rotten sleazy bastard. You woman chasing letch, you just got laid to you think you'd be to happy to screw with me" Naruto scolded

"It was just a joke" Jiraiya said "I thought you liked jokes"

"Yeah well I'm only joking to so here's another joke for you pervy sage, I hope your nuts get fried"

"_**Ooooouch ow, ow yeow" **_Jiraiya cried out as yet another energy ball hit his butt

"Ooo you dance divinely don't stop keep dancing" Naruto taunted "Come on speed it up, damn your slower then a girl"

An hour later a limping out of breath and panting Jiraiya returned. He looked around to see if Naruto was there and was relieved to not find him anywhere near, and was confident that he had it made a clean escape

"Kakashi I'm going to the sulfur spring don't tell Naruto I am here when he comes back"

Jiraiya said then left

"Sure thing Jiraiya, Shiori wait round 2 is coming" Kakashi said

"They're like two little kids this promises to be fun" she replied

Naruto came back he had beaten Jiraiya getting back and had been hiding. Naruto innocently walked in with a bag in hand Kakshi asked Naruto what he did, he told Kakshi then Kakashi, and Shiori cracked up the three sat awaiting Jiraiya's return

"Gee do you think papa pervy sage will still love me like a son after this? Hehehe Naruto joked

"I don't know Naruto it depends on what you did, but in any case be ready" Kakashi advised

30 minutes later Jiraiya came back even worse then Naruto, Jiraiya was a bright neon pink, itching like hell and scratching, and smelled like a bunch of skinks. He looked at Naruto with murder in his eyes, Naruto had given him the gift of dye, and a stink causing liquid mixed with a solution that causes itching in the sulfur spring water

Faster then a lightening bolt Naruto was over to Jiraiya and dropped a bunch of pissed off eels down Jiraiyas pants. Jaraiya's eyes went wide with shock then the eels started giving him shocks

"Ahhhhh Narutooo you little prick I'll kill you" Jiraiya screamed "Right after I remove your teeny tiny manly treasure"

"Yeah pervy sage I've got one but it isn't small. And you shouldn't keep telling us about yours we don't want to know that it's small" Naruto wise cracked then batted his eyes

"Well when I get my hands on ow you your in for a world of ouch pain, damned eels, ow" Jiraiya screeched from the shocks and fury

"Kiss my orange ass, but use some moisturizer on your lips first I do not want a chafed bottom. And catch me if you can goat breath" Naruto taunted, then gave Jiraiya the finger

Jiraiya lunged for him, and Naruto took off with Jiraiya hot on his heels "Get back here and take it like a man" Jiraiya snapped

"But pervy sage by law I'm not a man I am only 18 and you have to be 21 to drink in a bar and I can't"

"And you are not going to live long enough to see 19, or get your first piece of ass" Jiraiya promised

"Aw pervy sageykins you don't mean that, come on at least make an effort to keep up ya old goat snails are faster then you" Naruto taunted while continuing to run and soon they were gone

"Oh crap" Kakashi said

"What is it? Shiori asked

"The sulfur spring" what about the other people who go in there? He said then bolted to the spring, with Shiori behind him

When they got to the spring they saw it "Wow he's good" she said

"Yup kid took care of it. That's Naruto he thinks of everything" said Kakashi, the sign he put up said do not use this spring until further notice

"Ahhhhh fuck" Naruto screamed when one of Jiraiya's energy balls hit his ass "I thought I was like a son to you"

"Well even sons die" is that fast enough for you? You yellow haired troll doll"

"Oh I will get you for this rat lops believe it" Naruto promised

"Yeah, yeah, yeah talk is cheap I want action" Jiraiya teased "So when am I gonna get some?

"Shiori gave you lots of action, and your still a total dick head"

Some time later Naruto returned atop a huge toad with Jiraiya hog tied to a big tree branch, the toad lowered them to the ground. Naruto thanked the toad then the toad disappeared. it seems that Naruto had somehow gotten the upper hand on Jiraiya and managed to subdue him

"Well children looks like we're going to be having roast sensei for dinner tonight" Naruto joked, the cook at the ramen stand was laughing so hard he was bent over double he walked over to the bench they were sitting on under the tree

"This is the best day of my life, for you guys the ramen and pork are on the house all you can eat" the cook said

"Naruto's eyes went wide really? alright" he said

"Kid you hooked a big one, and lucked out" Kakashi said

They sat around eating the ramen Naruto looked at Jiraiya "Hey pervy sage now who's going to make who watch while the other eats ramen? Hehehe" Naruto taunted

"I hate you" a defeated hungry Jiraiya replied

"Don't worry I'll free him when we're done eating" Naruto whispered to Kakashi and Shiori "Man this is delicious if you only knew what you were missing" he taunted Jiraiya

"Oh come on kid feed a hungry old man" Jiraiya said

"Nope first you gotta watch, then you get to eat" Naratu ragged

"I've got his already I'll keep it warm for him but" the cook said

"Thanks" Kakashi replied

"Naruto you're the devil" Juraiya said while he watched him eating ramen

"No just a poor innocent boy enjoying his well earned ramen, yum and this pork is delicious"

"Save your strength Jiraiaya because after you eat I have plans for you later" Shiori told him

"Screw the food, Naruto let me out of here now. I don't care about the ramen" Pretty please? I'll give you anything you want"

"Sorry not until after you finish watching"

"Oh I never want to have kids" Jiraiya moaned


End file.
